Nobody comes to Beacon Family Services CIC because they’re looking for Theraplay®. They come because they’re worried and often exhausted. School keeps ringing. Their child is struggling. Or they feel like they’re losing confidence as a parent they can do a good job.

That’s where we come in.

Three things families have taught me about relational support.

Theraplay® isn’t what the families coming to us for help are looking for. They want hope that they and their child can be OK.

I was reminded of this recently when I went back and watched some parent interviews we recorded almost six years ago. They’ve been sitting quietly on You Tube and the children are older and the families in different places. I still remember the day we recorded them and as I watched them back I was struck by how relevant their stories still feel.

While we have evolved, the needs of children and families remain remarkably consistent. Families still want to feel understood. Children still communicate through their behaviour. And relationships still sit at the heart of our support and the lasting change it creates.

1. Families need understanding before they need strategies

One of the parents says talking about her experience of being part of our Connect for Kids group and what she learnt:

“Her behaviour is a way of communicating. She’s not doing it to annoy us. She’s doing it because she’s trying to get across the way that she’s feeling.”

For those of us who have worked with children and families for any length of time, we know just how powerful that shift in understanding can be. So often, families start by looking for strategies to manage behaviour. But when they find an explanation that makes sense of what’s happening in their home the need for strategies disappears.  This Mum explains the impact on family relationships simply saying:

“The house is a lot calmer because of that.”

2. Parents need to feel safe before change can happen

Many of the parents we meet have worries before asking for support. While they may want and need support they didn’t necessarily expect this would be part of being a parent.

One of the parents says:

“I’m always slightly nervous when I’m taking my son to a new situation anyway because you never know how he’s going to react”.

That feeling will be familiar to many of the parents, carers and professionals reading this.

By the time families ask for support, they’ve often been living with their concerns for a long time. They may have researched and tried different approaches. They are likely exhausted and probably worried about being judged.

Many parents have told me they were uncertain that anyone could really understand what family life has been like for them.

The parents in our videos share they felt comfortable enough to take part because they didn’t feel judged and they felt heard. This is what we mean when we talk about feeling safe.

3. Small moments often create the biggest changes

When people talk about impact, we often focus on outcomes and numbers and we can tell you those stories in our Social Impact Report. Parents and caregivers though tend to focus on moments.

One mum described how she would remind her son of activities from the sessions when he became distressed. Those memories helped him return to a place where he felt calm and safe.

Another family talked about rediscovering play and realising how much their children still enjoyed silly games together.

That really stood out when I watched these interviews again. The parents weren’t talking about therapeutic techniques. They were talking about relationships and connection and enjoying their children again.

“It’s building your relationship with your child, isn’t it?”

I honestly, don’t think I could explain our work any better than that.

Listening to these parents took me right back to why Beacon Family Services exists in the first place. If you’d like to read more about the difference families tell us we’re making, have a look at our Social Impact Report ADD LINK. And if you’d like to understand more about what sits behind our work, take a look at our Statement of Purpose. To discuss referrals, partnerships or commissioning opportunities, you can visit our Professionals hub to find out more about our services, explore our mission and impact, and get in touch.

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Support for professionals

We work with organisations, professionals, schools, and charities.

We provide training in relational play for professionals. We offer Theraplay®-based programmes such as Parenting with Theraplay®, and partner with support for schools and support for families. Professionals and families alike can access our lumin&us® Family Wellbeing app for 24/7 relational play.

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