Give your child thoughtful compliments with the I LIKE game

This family activity involves giving your child compliments. It’s based on our advice for giving kids compliments that are non-evaluative to help develop their self-esteem. Either you can tell your child what you like about them, or you can try taking it in turns to say what you like about each other, or what you like doing as a shared activity with one another.

When giving your child a thoughtful compliment, it helps if the compliment is authentic and pressure-free. If the compliment is based on your child’s personal strengths, that negates the pressure for them to live up to standards to succeed. Your child may feel uncomfortable with compliments and praise, especially if they are sensitive to pressure. In this case, you can explore gentle affirmations such as “I like how you shared your toy with your sibling today” rather than offering direct praise.

You may find it beneficial to compliment process (“I like how carefully you build things with your building blocks”, or “I like how hard you tried to score a goal”) rather than to compliment the person (“I like how smart at building / good at football you are”). Person praise can make a child focus on their performance and compare it with others, which can add pressure (Maclellan, 2005) whereas process praise can help a child take on challenges and develop a flexible mindset (Bayat, 2011).

Download and print out your free I LIKE game card for reference.

Family game benefits:

• Contributing to your child’s sense of achievement, self-esteem and wellbeing
• Supporting the notion of the mutual benefits of sharing, giving and receiving

About family games for connection and the lumin&us® app

Here at Beacon Family Services, we regularly publish therapeutic games to play with your child like THE ‘I LIKE’ GAME as part of our services to help struggling families connect and develop family relationships.

Over time, you can build up a set of useful resources to help you connect with your child. These games are designed to help your child feel safe as you learn to understand your child’s behaviours and develop connection together.

You can find many more such games and ways to help you and your child progress together on the lumin&us® app – the world’s first wellbeing app for families!

Our qualified therapists support parents to use similar techniques in our Connect for Kids in-person sessions, packages of support for adoptive parents, and individual family therapy. We are based in the West Midlands, but many of our services and resources are provided as virtual experienes and available to parents across the UK.

Further support for parents

For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub.

You can also explore our resources for instant support, including newsletters, online support groups, and much more. You can also read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog.