Dealing with the challenges of difficult behaviour is a demanding part of caring for children. While occasional difficulties are part of the parenting experience, for some families that goes far beyond what we think of as ‘normal’ behaviour and slips into violent, aggressive and challenging behaviour. This guide for parents and carers shows how we can help.
The societal expectation for parents and caregivers to effectively manage and be in control can be particularly daunting if you are facing these extraordinary challenges. The struggle to ensure your own safety and your child’s can become overwhelming.
About Childhood Challenging Violent and Aggressive Behaviour (CCVAB)
“Research suggests between 3% and 12% of families experience Childhood Challenging Violent and Aggressive Behaviour.” Bonnick, H (2019). Child to Parent Violence: A Practitioners Guide to Working with Families
Violent and aggressive behaviours in children can affect any family. Early adversity, special educational needs (SEN), developmental challenges, neurodivergence, and sensory issues can all lead to a child struggling. This can impact your child’s ability to regulate their emotions, heighten their vulnerability, and influence their behaviour.
If your child’s behaviour is violent, aggressive and challenging you may be experiencing:
- Broken property
- physical injuries
- strained relationships
- employment challenges
- financial strain
- and feeling isolated.
As a parent, you may be feeling helpless, or like you are drowning and unable to seek assistance, or feeling unfairly blamed for your child’s behaviour, and unsure where to turn for support.
At Beacon Family Services we work with a range of families who live with children’s challenging, violent and aggressive behaviour. We understand the complexities involved and know how important it is for support to be tailored to your situation.
How can we help?
Parenting Support: We focus on developing parenting approaches that reduce conflict, support children, deescalate challenging behaviour, and enhance your resilience.
Building Support Networks: Parents tell us connecting with other parents and caregivers facing similar challenges reduces isolation. We help parents share knowledge and understanding through a supportive community. We help you strengthen and rebuild relationships with family and friends.
Professional Support: We encourage building positive relationships with professionals who can help, including schools, GPs, social workers, and early help services. Working together can make a significant impact on addressing challenges.
Therapeutic Support: We use various therapeutic approaches, such as Sensory Therapy, Non-Violent Resistance (NVR), Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), and Theraplay®. These therapies are about building a relationship with families so we can understand underlying feelings of distress contributing to a child’s behaviour and enhance parents’ understanding of their child so that everyone can feel safer.
By combining these elements, you will be helped to feel more confident that you have the tools and support you need to navigate the complexities of childhood challenging behaviour while building and strengthening relationships.
Explore more
For families:
We can connect families with helpful workshops and peer support. To find out what support is available and more about how we can help, visit our FAMILIES support hub.
If you are not yet ready to reach out for support, you can find a wealth of helpful information on our blog:
- Parenting while experiencing CCVAB
- Parenting challenges: Finding hope and help through peer support
- Understanding your child’s behaviours
- Why do good parents have naughty children?
- Not a calm parent? Not everyone can be.
For professionals:
We recruite associate therapists on a rolling basis and provide training to help you share your expertise. Visit our PROFESSIONALS AND ORGANISATIONS hub to discover resources and ways to connect.
Part of the Connect for Parents Service generously funded by The National Lottery and delivered by Beacon Family Services CIC
Written by Al Coates MBE, BSc in Social Work and Charlotte Jenkins MA Social Work
Al Coates MBE adopted three children in 1999 with his wife and they then became Foster to two children in 2008. They went on to adopt those children and their sibling in 2013. In 2013 Al qualified as a social worker and has worked in fostering since then and is now a Registered Manager of a Foster Care Agency.
He also works independently as a Social Worker and NVR advanced practitioner. He specialises in supporting parents, foster carers and special guardians managing challenging and aggressive behaviour and co-authored several publications on the topic. Al has also campaigned to raise issues in relation to adoption and continuously worked with the Department of Education (DfE) since 2015 as part of their Expert Advisery Group, the Adopter Reference Group and the Adoption and Special Guardianship Leadership Board. He was awarded an MBE in 2018 for services to Adoption.
Al trains across the sector including police, youth justice, education, social care and families. In his work with Beacon Family Services as well as training and support he is developing and championing peer support with recourse to a Facebook Parent Peer Support Group and Support Group for Dads.
Al has been an active blogger and is the founder and co-host of The Adoption & Fostering Podcast.
Charlotte Jenkins is the founder and director of Beacon Family Services. She is an experienced social worker supporting children and families therapeutically using Theraplay® and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy(DDP)M. She is also trained in Sensory Attachment Intervention which focuses on helping children and parents coregulate their nervous systems to build their relationships.
For more information, contact charlotte@beaconservices.org.uk.
Further support for parents
If you or someone you know is struggling with family relationships, Beacon Family Services can help. We provide a range of therapies and resources to support parents, children and families including our Connect For Kids Theraplay® group and parent workshops on a variety of topics, as well as access to peer support groups.
For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub.
You can also explore our resources for instant support, including newsletters, online support groups, and much more. You can also read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog.
We work with organisations, professionals, schools, and charities.
We provide training to use our resources with families and in schools. We partner with professionals, commissioners and organisations to provide in person and online support for families, professional development and training and support and supervision.