Phew, neurodiversity is a load-bearing word these days! It carries a lot of weight because it’s used by so many people in so many diverse (ahem)  and sometimes harmful or misleading ways. Sometimes it buckles under the strain. So… what is neurodiversity? And how might it relate to you and your family?

Finding clear, reliable information about neurodiversity isn’t always easy. One day, a post popped up on my Instagram promising to “help spot” if a taxi driver was neurodivergent – a reminder that much of what we see online can be misleading, stereotyped, or even harmful.

The difference between neurodiversity and neurodivergence

The term neurodiversity was first coined by sociologist Judy Singer in the 1990s. In an interview with Psychology Today, she explains that neurodiversity reflects the natural variation in human brains – just like biodiversity in the natural world. In simple terms we all experience, think, and relate in different ways and these differences enrich our culture and communities.

Today, neurodivergence is often used to describe differences such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and Tourette’s syndrome. It is an umbrella term for explaining how a neurotypical person’s way of understanding the world fits pretty easily into the social, cultural, and educational systems we have. Neurotypical people usually don’t face the same communication, sensory, or processing differences that neurodivergent people might experience.

However, there’s growing debate about how the term is used. Some worry that discussions focus mainly on those who are seen as “close to” neurotypical norms, which can leave out people who experience profound challenges in daily life.

Respecting uniqueness, whilst managing and adapting to challenges with additional support

At Beacon Family Services, we believe that every person is unique, and that relationships thrive when we respect that uniqueness. We meet families who find connection and strength within the neurodivergent community. We also meet families who are cautious about labels, concerned that defining their child too early or too narrowly could close off opportunities rather than open them up.

If a child needs additional support because they are sensitive to the pressures of everyday life, then – regardless of labels – the adults around should try and make some sense of that and provide both adaptations and support to manage that which can’t be adapted. We love this episode of Dr Becky talking about just this.

Navigating trauma and neurodivergence in children – there’s no one-size-fits-all approach

Importantly, it’s crucial to recognise that neurodivergence and trauma can co-occur. Children who are neurodivergent may be more vulnerable to trauma because the world isn’t always built with their needs in mind. Equally, children who have experienced early trauma may show patterns of behaviour that look similar to neurodivergence, making understanding their needs more complex and even more important.

Trauma doesn’t cause neurodivergence, but the overlap can make it harder for families to find the right support. That’s why careful, compassionate listening matters so much and will inform your therapy with us. If you are an adoptive, fostering or kinship family and want to read more about this I recommend An Introduction to Autism for Adoptive and Fostering Families by Dr Katie Hunt and Dr Helen Rodwell.

If you’re looking for balanced, evidence-based guidance on how to support yourself and your child as a parent or professional, we highly recommend the work of Dr Naomi Fisher, who offers thoughtful insights on parenting, education, and neurodivergence.

You can also, if you are local to Sutton Coldfied, get in touch with GroW Families who offer a range of support to parents.

At Beacon Family Services, we know that whether you’re a spotted ladybird, a striped one, or something in between, you belong.

You might also be interested in:

• Low demand parenting for neurodivergent kids
• Why do children spin around and turn upside down?
• Why won’t my child listen?

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Further support for parents

If you or someone you know is struggling with family relationships, Beacon Family Services can help. We provide a range of therapies and resources to support parents, children and families including our Connect For Kids Theraplay® group and parent workshops on a variety of topics, as well as access to peer support groups.

For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub.

You can also explore our resources for instant support, including newsletters, online support groups, and much more. You can also read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog.

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We work with organisations, professionals, schools, and charities.

We provide training to use our resources with families and in schools. We partner with professionals, commissioners and organisations to provide in person and online support for families, professional development and training and support and supervision.

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