Every parent knows the daily struggles of coaxing children through tasks essential for a smoothly running day. From the frustration of wrangling shoes back onto little feet to the seemingly endless battles over homework, these challenges are part and parcel of parenthood. Yet, for some parents, especially those navigating the intricate landscape of raising neurodivergent children, these demands can escalate into overwhelming obstacles that leave them feeling lost and helpless.

If you find yourself searching for alternative approaches to parenting, let us delve into the concept of low demand parenting—a term often bandied about but not always fully understood.

What does low demand parenting entail, and how does it differ from traditional methods? 

Low demand parenting isn’t about laziness or neglecting responsibilities. It is about:

• recognising the unique needs of neurodivergent children,
• tailoring our approach to meet those needs with compassion and empathy,
• creating an environment of gentle guidance and emotional safety,
• reducing stress and prioritising connections.

Neurodivergent children process information in their own distinct way, often struggling to navigate sensory stimuli in their environment. This can lead to feelings of overwhelm, manifested in meltdowns or withdrawal. As parents, understanding these triggers and responses is crucial in providing the support and guidance our children need.

When they get overwhelmed they feel like they are struggling and can meltdown or slip into the drowning state where they shut down. We talk about this more here.

Recognising the signs of ‘struggling’ versus ‘drowning’ is vital. Is it the noisy environment triggering their distress, or perhaps the pressure to perform tasks like putting on shoes or participating in family meals? By identifying these triggers, we can tailor our approach to offer the right level of support and understanding. Here’s how to tell if your child is SAFE, STRUGGLING or DROWNING.

How does it help me as a stressed parent? 

As parents, we often witness our children’s struggles without understanding the root cause, leading us to feel overwhelmed and helpless. Low demand parenting addresses this by fostering acceptance and understanding, empowering us to adapt our lives to meet the unique needs of our family members. By prioritising connection and self-care, we create environments where everyone can thrive authentically, even if it means setting boundaries and saying no to others’ expectations.

At Beacon NeuroConnect we support families to find ways to reduce demands, adjust the parenting approach and understand what is causing them stress. Through our support services, families gain valuable insights into their children’s behaviour from a neuro-affirming perspective, fostering understanding and acceptance. Our goal is to create a safe space where families feel heard, validated, and equipped with the tools they need to thrive.

Parents who have accessed our support tell us:

“I feel more confident in my ability to help my child and to know what he needs. He is much better at verbalising what he needs. I know that I need to look after myself to be a good parent, and recognise when I am not doing that. We work so much better together now.” – Adoptive parent of Neurodivergent child

“When you came I felt happy and relaxed… you helped me” – Neurodivergent child, age 6.

Come and join us at our next series of webinars.

We explore in a safe online space what we all need to be able to approach a shift in our parenting or just be with others who get it. Information on the Autumn 2024 Connected Families Neurodivergence workshops can be found here. If the workshops are full, you can sign up to the waiting list.

If you can’t make it this time or are seeking individual family support please email at neuroconnect@beaconservices.org.uk.

Catherine Eveness, Founding Director of Beacon NeuroConnect CIC, specialises in supporting families impacted by developmental trauma and neurodivergence through Beacon Family Services. With over 15 years of experience in family placement social work, Catherine brings expertise in fostering, adoption, and therapeutic interventions such as Theraplay and Sensory Attachment Intervention, aiming to create nurturing environments for children and families.