Every parent knows the daily struggles of coaxing children through tasks essential for a smoothly running day. From the frustration of wrangling shoes back onto little feet to the seemingly endless battles over homework, these challenges are part and parcel of parenthood. Yet, for some parents, especially those navigating the intricate landscape of raising neurodivergent children, these demands can escalate into overwhelming obstacles that leave them feeling lost and helpless.
If you find yourself searching for alternative approaches to parenting, let us delve into the concept of low demand parenting—a term often bandied about but not always fully understood.
What is low demand parenting? How does it differ from traditional methods?
Low demand parenting isn’t about laziness or neglecting responsibilities. It is about:
- recognising the unique needs of neurodivergent children,
- tailoring our approach to meet those needs with compassion and empathy,
- creating an environment of gentle guidance and emotional safety,
- reducing stress and prioritising connections.
Neurodivergent children process information in their own distinct way, often struggling to navigate sensory stimuli in their environment. This can lead to feelings of overwhelm, manifested in meltdowns or withdrawal. As parents, understanding these triggers and responses is crucial in providing the support and guidance our children need.
When they get overwhelmed they feel like they are struggling and can meltdown or slip into the drowning state where they shut down. We talk about this more here.
Recognising the signs of ‘struggling’ versus ‘drowning’ is vital. Is it the noisy environment triggering their distress, or perhaps the pressure to perform tasks like putting on shoes or participating in family meals? By identifying these triggers, we can tailor our approach to offer the right level of support and understanding. Here’s how to tell if your child is SAFE, STRUGGLING or DROWNING.
How does it help me as a stressed parent?
As parents, we often witness our children’s struggles without understanding the root cause, leading us to feel overwhelmed and helpless. Low demand parenting addresses this by fostering acceptance and understanding, empowering us to adapt our lives to meet the unique needs of our family members. By prioritising connection and self-care, we create environments where everyone can thrive authentically, even if it means setting boundaries and saying no to others’ expectations.
If you want to find out more, we really recommend reading ‘When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse’ by Dr Naomi Fisher and Eliza Fricker. They met after discovering none of the books worked for them and have set about making sure that for those parents whose children are ‘pressure sensitive’ there is well informed, reliable and good humoured support.
Further support for parents
If you or someone you know is struggling with family relationships, Beacon Family Services can help. We provide a range of therapies and resources to support parents, children and families including our Connect For Kids Theraplay® group and parent workshops on a variety of topics, as well as access to peer support groups.
For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub.
You can also explore our resources for instant support, including newsletters, online support groups, and much more. You can also read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog.
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We provide training to use our resources with families and in schools. We partner with professionals, commissioners and organisations to provide in person and online support for families, professional development and training and support and supervision.