As a parent or carer, you want your child to be safe. However, your child or teen wants autonomy and to stay in the loop with friends and peers. How is it possible to strike a balance?

There is so much advice out there regarding children, teens, and safe mobile phone usage (from both a safeguarding and wellbeing perspective). There’s always that tension between a child to wants to be in the loop with their peer group and exchange information, and parents wanting to keep child safe. It’s an incredibly tough balancing act, with no simple answer – after all, even your own phone use as a parent or carer might be impacting your child. We’ve collated and curated some of the latest research and findings – along with insights from our therapy team – to help you navigate the tricky challenge of helping your child to become a digitally healthy teen.

Mobile phones – love them, hate them, can’t do without them

Have you ever sat back and scrolled through posts on Instagram or TikTok to cheer yourself up, or messaged a friend to alleviate the stress of another busy day? That sounds rather nice! Equally, do you find mobile phones are a repeated point of conflict between yourself and your child? For example, you might find yourself engaged in long negotiations about whether it’s time to put down their phones and join the family meal or do homework…

Most of us will check our pocket or bag before leaving home to ensure we have got our phone with us. Mobile phones can offer us a sense of connection to the world, our loved ones, our work colleagues, emergency services and numerous other snippets of news and social media. Have you ever felt that feeling of panic when you discover your phone is not where you thought it was? Love them or hate them, mobile phones are increasingly a part of our lives.

Just look at the numbers…

• 9 in 10 children own a phone by the age of 11 (Government Research Briefing Paper May 2024)
• Over 88.9 million UK mobile subscriptions (OfCom 2024)
• 98% of the adult population own a mobile phone (Mobile UK 2025)

Wellbeing and connection in your pocket

Has hearing a voice note from your child or another loved one ever lifted your mood? The benefits of owning a mobile phone include being able to stay connected via voice calls, voice notes and messages.  The surges of healthy chemicals (oxytocin) released by our brain when we experience positive human connection contributes to our wellbeing and emotional health. In fact, Social Connections is the first pointer on the NHS 5 Ways To Wellbeing (NHS 2022) and mobile phones cam facilitate positive connections.

“I wish my child would spend less time on their phone”

Phones also pose challenges for parents and carers. Do you worry about how much time your child is spending on their phone? Do you wonder what or who they are connecting with whilst on their phone? Is your child’s mobile phone a source of conflict? If you are taking a deep breath before asking your child to put their screen away, check out our blog on How To Help Your Child To Transition From The Screen Without Meltdowns.

Building relationships, trust and awareness – the key to safe and healthy mobile phone usage for your child?

Author and Play Activist Aga Chojnacka suggests that digital health is more about relationships, trust and awareness between parents/carers and their children rather than simply downloading a safety App. A range of key sources of information that offer tips on talking to your child about mobile phone usage already exist including: The Children’s Society and BBC’s Top 5 Tips which contain ideas on how to establish and maintain open conversations with your child and support them to develop healthy digital habits.

What is technoference? It’s a term for technology getting in the way of real life.

The term Technoference was coined by Senior Research Scientist, Brandon Mc Daniel (2015) and it means ‘everyday interruptions in interpersonal interactions or time spent together that occur due to digital and mobile technology devices.’ Mobile phone usage by either child or parent can cause technoference within everyday life! Put simply, phones can get in the way of our in-person interactions and lower the quality of our relationships. As adults we too can reflect on our own usage of mobile phones, and consider whether we can also develop healthier digital health habits alongside our children.

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6 Fun Ideas for using mobile phones to connect with your child

There is growing research stating that mobile phone usage can fracture our in-person interactions with people, as the phone user becomes distracted by their phone mid-conversation, causing conversations or joint activities to be cut short. However, other research suggests that phones can be used to enhance joint activities. If our phones can be a point of joint attention and connection, maybe our digital worlds can overlap rather than cause a distance between us.

Here are some ideas for activities to help you and your child connect using mobile phones.

1: Joint discovery

“If I could travel anywhere in the world, it would be…”

Check out the sights and sounds of a place you or your child are keen to explore using your phones.

2: Co-playing

Is your child’s favourite mobile game one you can play together? Alternatively, you can be an attentive supporter, staying curious and open to hearing more about the challenges, skills and enjoyment your child is experiencing as a player.

3: Joint research

“Which…”

• Takeaway shall we order?
• Park shall we visit?
• Community event shall we attend?

Use your phone to jointly research ideas or decision making for a joint activity.

4: Family connections

Set up a joint video call with a family member or friend to connect with others and enjoy virtual time together. It could be a quick chat, a family quiz or a ‘Highlights of My week’ exchange.

5: Online resources

Check out our online lumin&us® app to discover a range of playful ways to connect with your child. Look at the possibilities together and try them out to create family fun.

6: Get creative

Explore online creative activities through gallery and museum websites e.g. Tate Kids or BBC Bitesize to enjoy time together.

Open conversation and relationship. You can also ask your child how they like to use their phone, opening channels of communication and mutual understanding. Safety is about conversation and trust and trying to build that as best you can.

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Support for parents

If you or someone you know is struggling with family relationships, Beacon Family Services can help. We provide a range of therapies and resources to support parents, children and families.

For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub for all families, or our Adoptive Parents hub where you’ll find peer support, school strategies, play-based therapeutic services and much more.

You can also explore our resources for instant support and read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog. In addition, you can try the lumin&us® app for parent/child connection.

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Support for professionals

We work with organisations, professionals, schools, and charities.

We provide professional training to use our resources with families and in schools. We partner with support for families, support and supervision, and virtual workshop facilitation.

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