Play is so important for helping children to counteract stress, reduce moments of conflict, increase their sense of worth, and enjoy the presence of others as they develop and grow. Our Project Salam Senior Therapist Peppy Hills explores why play matters to every child in terms of their emotional development.

In addition to supporting many areas of child development including social skills, cognitive or physical development and sensory integration, play can also be a non-threatening, low pressure way to support your child’s emotional development. These reasons why play helps a child to flourish emotionally explain the how and why.

1. Be seen and enjoyed, which feeds a positive sense of self

When your child is included and enjoyed as a positive playmate, they feel seen and valued. Such feelings can impact their self-belief which in turn influences how they view themselves.

2. Practise the to and fro of relationships – which is crucial for future healthy friendships

When experiencing a playful activity which involves turn taking, to and fro or co-construction, we are unknowingly practising the give and take of a healthy relationship. By doing so within a playful context as a child, they can build capacity and tolerance and become used to the idea of collaboration and coexisting enjoyably with others.

3. Engage within a potentially tricky moment, as play can reduce moments of conflict

Playfulness can transform a chore into a game, a challenge into a playful task. Throwing dirty socks from the top of the stairs into a laundry basket might feel more engaging for your child than receiving a demand or task with a negative consequence attached.

4. Experience enjoyment and the great chemicals that are released, which counteract levels of stress in your child’s body

Can you remember a time when you were playing with a mate or parent, giggling spontaneously or cheering at a joint achievement and feeling that sense of shared enjoyment? Experiencing shared enjoyment means positive ‘feel good’ chemicals such as oxytocin are released by the brain which give children and adults a feeling of belonging and wellbeing.

5. Experience levels of high excitement and anticipation as play helps your child’s nervous system manage the highs and lows of everyday life.

Learning to manage the feeling of excited anticipation of being found in a game of Hide & Seek or, as a baby, a simple Peek a Boo game, provides a playful way to experience feeling exhilarated, then returning to a steadier, quieter level of energy.

6. Feel soothed by gentle play

Gentle hand massages, quiet drawing games or sharing a story can be ways to soothe a child’s nervous system. Gentle play can be especially useful after your child has experienced a challenging day or event. Being in another’s company within a gentle, mutually playful activity can help calm both parent and child.

7. Burn off excess energy in a playful way

A playful game of tig, balloon tennis or challenging obstacle courses can provide a playful framework for high energy children to use their energy in a purposeful, pleasurable way.

8. Experience the buzz of shared enjoyment

Enjoying activities alongside another person prompts the brain to release positive chemicals into our body which affect our physiology. In simple terms, we generally feel better physically and mentally when we enjoy ourselves with others.

9. Expand imaginative capacity

Creating imaginary stories, creatures, dens in imaginary lands etc. are ways to support our children to develop their ability to think flexibly. Supporting creative thinking encourages our children to create ‘possibility thinking’, which can be a key life skill and can underpin problem solving ability and optimism in everyday life.

10. Play offers a non-threatening way of being alongside each other within a busy world

Playful moments with your child can create positive instances of emotional connection which support your child’s and your own relational wellbeing. A small playful interaction within a busy morning can make a positive difference to how your child feels throughout the day.

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Further support for parents

If you or someone you know is struggling with family relationships, Beacon Family Services can help. We provide a range of therapies and resources to support parents, children and families including our Connect For Kids Theraplay® group and parent workshops on a variety of topics, as well as access to peer support groups.

For further support, and to see our latest parent events and services, please visit the Families hub.

You can also explore our resources for instant support, including newsletters, online support groups, and much more. You can also read further insights and tips from qualified therapists and professionals on our blog.

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We work with organisations, professionals, schools, and charities.

We provide training to use our resources with families and in schools. We partner with professionals, commissioners and organisations to provide in person and online support for families, professional development and training and support and supervision.

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