From surviving to thriving: How children can grow in emotional and social confidence

Our therapist-facilitated Connect for Parents workshops and Connect for Kids Theraplay® group sessions – along with all our resources – are on hand to help your child grow in emotional and social confidence. We explore how helping children feel safe to engage and make connections can help adoptive, neurodiverse, resettling and challenged families move from surving to thriving.

How has the pandemic impacted the emotional and social confidence of children?

Events have a huge impact on our lives and its not a new story that the pandemic has impacted children’s development and learning. When the Chief Inspector at OFSTED reported she was worried abut young children’s social skills at Beacon Family Services we were not surprised.

“We are seeing difficulties with social interaction and social confidence – children just behind where you would normally expect them to be.”

Education and Recovery in early years providers: Spring 2022

All the usual causes were raised, including lack of interaction with a range of adults and children and trouble accessing specialist support. OFSTED’s chief said she is worried that children’s learning is being impacted and will continue to be. We wondered why she was worried about their learning and not their relational experiences? What if children, kept safe during the pandemic by their parents, are simply not feeling safe yet in early years settings and when larger social groups gather?

We are social creatures and need to make connections with others, from birth, to survive.

Unlike most other species our brains at birth are relatively immature and we don’t stagger to our feet within hours but remain dependent on caregivers. And that is part of what makes parenting such a hard job and why we often hear it said it takes a village to raise a child.

Children who have grown up during the pandemic, have lived with a far higher level of anxiety and vigilance around their social interactions. Parents, extended family, early years, in fact all school staff, have felt more anxious about their roles interacting with children or encouraging their interaction with others.

We cannot live in a way that involves fear of interaction with others and then expect children to feel safe and ready to learn.

Babies have to learn the world is safe and go through countless moments of fear and reassurance as they are supported to cope with stress, like hunger, being sated.

How do we move from surviving to thriving?

Our nervous systems are wired to detect danger so creating time for the kind of play that builds relationships through creating connection is vital to children’s recovery. Many of the games we play like peekaboo or hide and seek help children learn it is safe and fun to explore the world. When adults, especially those they feel safest with, like parents, join children in this play they are relaxed and joyful and give children the message the world is safe and they are safe.

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To speak to someone from our team call 0121 270 0590.

Charlotte Jenkins is the founder and a director of Beacon Family Services. She is an experienced social worker supporting children and families therapeutically using Theraplay and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy.