Understanding and addressing your child’s sensory needs can be challenging, especially when they can’t articulate their feelings.  Its hard as a parent when your child can’t tell you how they feel and says “I don’t know” when you ask. 

Sensory needs refer to the unique ways individuals perceive, process, and respond to sensory input from their environment. This includes stimuli from the five traditional senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—as well as internal senses like balance (vestibular system) and body awareness (proprioception). Each person has a unique sensory profile that influences how they interact with the world around them.

To understand and connect with our feelings, we must be in tune with our bodies.

Our bodies use our senses to send signals through our nervous system, indicating whether we feel safe and connected, are in a heightened state of stress, or have shifted into shutdown mode to manage overwhelm.

For some, certain sensory inputs can be overwhelming or underwhelming, affecting their ability to function comfortably. For instance, a child with sensory needs might be extremely sensitive to loud noises or bright lights, causing them to feel stressed or anxious. Alternatively, they might seek additional sensory input, such as through movement or tactile experiences, to feel regulated and focused.

Understanding and addressing sensory needs involves recognising these unique preferences and providing appropriate sensory experiences which help ourselves and our children feel calm, focused, and comfortable in their environment. This is especially important for children, as meeting their sensory needs can significantly impact their emotional well-being and ability to learn and interact with others.

What can this look like?

When stressed, your child’s muscles may tense, their cheeks might flush due to increased blood flow, and they may seek more movement. Here are some signs to look for:

• Seeking vestibular movement through spinning or rocking.
• Seeking proprioceptive input through tensed muscles or clenching their jaw.

Parents often ask, “What’s wrong?” or “What do you need?” but your child may not process these questions in that moment. They might be disconnected from their internal senses and need to work harder to sense their physical bodies.

What do you do when you cannot reach them with words and they cannot tell you what they need?

You can offer what their bodies are seeking:

• Suggest they push against your hands or a wall if touch is overwhelming.
• Ask them to pull you up to standing from sitting.
• Give a squeezy cuddle if they can manage it.
• Stamp your feet for them to mirror. They might not copy immediately, but they may try it later.

How does this help?

When feeling ‘safe,’ we are more likely to access our internal world and physical sensations. However, voicing these sensations can be challenging for many reasons. Our internal interoception (feeling hot or cold, sensing hunger or pain) can be acutely sensitive or entirely disconnected.

SO, What Can You Do Next?

• Reduce Words: Use fewer words during challenging moments.
• Non-verbal Connection: Engage in non-verbal activities and find unique ways to connect alongside each other.
• Use Non-verbal Signals: For instance, a child playfully wriggling their nose to signal readiness to reconnect.
• Communicate Needs: When they can communicate, ask, “What will help you next time that feels so tricky?”

Understanding and addressing neurodivergence and sensory needs can be challenging, but by being attuned to our children’s unique signals and finding creative ways to connect, we can help them feel safe and supported.

You can read more about some of the common ways children seek sensory input to relieve stress and anxiety in this blog from Doctor of Physical Therapy, Bala Pilai.

Beacon NeuroConnect explore many of these ideas in our safe space discussion virtual Connect for Parent workshops, where we share and learn from each other’s experiences.

📅You can book the next available sessions here

Catherine Eveness, Founding Director of Beacon NeuroConnect CIC, specialises in supporting families impacted by developmental trauma and neurodivergence through Beacon Family Services. With over 15 years of experience in family placement social work, Catherine brings expertise in fostering, adoption, and therapeutic interventions such as Theraplay and Sensory Attachment Intervention, aiming to create nurturing environments for children and families.